Schooled in Hot Yoga

I was Valedictorian of PS 42 Elementary School in Queens, NY (not telling what year).

I skipped 8th Grade in the 2 Year SP - Specialized Program of accelerated learning.

I graduated in the Top 10 percentile of my high school class of over 1250 graduating students. Yes, 1250 seniors; the Far Rockaway High School student body was so huge that freshmen and sophomores went in the morning, juniors and seniors in the afternoons.

And somehow I missed out on the most important education of my life.

What I really learned in school was how to live up the expectations of others. I was never asked to consider what was important to me; what I wanted for myself. Were you?

Were you schooled to be a people pleaser? 

Why are we still caught up in living in a way others can approve - and raising our children to please everyone, us parents included - when we have all lived the disaster of being a People Pleaser?

I had to graduate from school in order to focus on the most vital subject: me.

Bill Cosby, who has given many college graduation speeches, said, "There is no one way to success; but the one sure way to failure is to try to please everyone."

Old habits die hard. When we tell our kids to "Get An Education," we still mean, "in school."

When my son Zach decided not to go to college, my family was aghast: he would be the first in a long line of to NOT attend college. "You're making the biggest mistake of your life!" well-meaning family members threatened. In fact, Zach was pursuing his education: following his own heart, a lesson taught from a very young age.

My kids attended The New School in Holmdel, NJ.

Based on the English Open School System, The New School taught without homework, grading, or testing; without desks and chairs; even without shoes.

Kids were encouraged to learn with whole selves which often involved lots of mess.

They didn't understand "cheating" because they were encouraged share their knowledge. They explored subjects at their own pace and without consequence of "failing."

The educational guidelines were to throw yourself into what you loved,  respect your passions, and marvel at other people's talents.

And if you needed help in math, you weren't "bad at math"  - you were smart because you knew how to ask for and get help from the math whiz - who might just ask you for help on his art project.

Consider that schools might just be teaching mediocrity: everyone becomes good at every subject, but Great at none.

We expect our kids, and ourselves, to succeed at their own path; but we never teach them HOW to value their own path. We think, "There's plenty of time to do that after school," while in school, we steer them away from their inner calling, and towards an outside idea of success.

Upon graduation, at worst, they may have to unlearn all the lessons of school. At best, they are simply ill-equipped at decision making, following their hearts, and living with passion and purpose.

If education isn't teaching the way to happiness, how valuable is it?

Hot yoga is about passion (another reason why it's Hot).

There may be days you come to hot yoga because you said you would, knowing you'll feel better afterwards. But it's my wish for you to come to Riverflow Yoga because something is calling you.

Maybe it's the warm welcome you get when you wak through the door. Maybe it's the relief of letting go into the teacher's guidance for 90 minutes. Maybe it's the heat and sweat of the poses.

Whatever it is, let your passion take you and let it unfold in the hot yoga room. Get familiar with doing what you love, starting with hot yoga.

There is a fabulous book out there my daughter discovered when she began high school: The Teenage Liberatio Handbook: how to quit school and get a real education, by Grace Llewellyn. Yes, it is all about examining whether school-based education is of any value anymore, and letting you draw your own conclusions.

It begins with a poignant little allegory about one little girl born into a fantasy land in the perhaps not-so-distant future. Read it here and decide for yourself:

School or education? Which would you choose?